Thank You Father..

1st term of uni life is about 2 end,i wouldn't say it's a 3 months well spent,looking at all d way i utilize my time here.However,uni life has really been a bittersweet experience n there's sooo much 2 thank God 4.I've picked out 20 frm a whole bunch,including bad things 2 remind myself tat d trouble i face is not bcoz Gods wills it,but bcoz He wans 2 mould me into d person He wans me 2 b.Thank you Lord..Thank you father for:

1)my parents who send me here n provided so much 4 me.(Love ya,mom n daddy)

2)my roommates who had miraculously,endlessly tolerating all my nonsensical behaviours.

3)My friend,Alex,who had been checking up on me every so often,giving me so much encouragement n making sure tat i does not slack in faith.

4)giving me d courage to step out of d boundaries of my comfort zone in klang n come 2 kedah although i was really reluctant at 1st.

5)being there 4 me + leading n guiding me in all tat i do,every step of d way.

6)hving a CF in AIMST tat i will be able to stay strong 2gether wit my bro n sis in christ through fellowshipping wit U n them.

7)the church(SPCC)tat i'm attending,where i can come n give u praise n worship n to draw myself nearer to u every week.

8)the opportunity to serve U n being available 4 U as U has always been 4 me.

9)the air tat i breathe.

10)every brand new morning i'm alive.

11)all d wonderful ppl whom i call friends.

12)all d ppl in AIMST tat hv given me help when i needed it most.

13)er..the sanitation engineer(cleaner) tat cleans d living room n toilet every week(thank god,really)

14)the functioning ceiling fan in my room,especially during noon where i always can't help but take a nap.

15)all d workload,homework,assignment,quiz.

16)unreasonable lecturers.

17)flies in d cafe.

18)weekly dierrhea tat i got frm d cafe food.

19)term 1 test which is oni 2 weeks away.

20)the 2 weeks holiday after d test.


A Really Narrow Road..

I've always known tat we're pilgrims on a journey of d narrow road,n d walk wit God is pretty rocky.But a wise friend told me(bout a month ago)tat.. (wait..checking my inbox)

"Dun be deceived by tat impression(tat your life would be smooth sailing just because you trust God).We all struggle n tat should b d way.There's no way we can lead a victorious life because 'we r at d peak dy',we need to live in constant reliance in Him...."-Alex-

I had come to AIMST wit a burning desire to seek n 2 serve God here(although i wasn't sure in wat area then),n also a determination 2 prove to every1 in my church tat college/uni life will not pull me away frm God like how it had happened to so many others who had gone before me.Sad 2 say tat there WAS a period of time where God just felt so far away..so unreachable..it's so demoralizing..I was lost,undecided on which church 2 settle on although i kinda noe which church God is urging me 2 go,i prayed bout it a lot,but...I had preference too..Previously being a teakwondo state fighter,i was really attached 2 my teakwondo class(which clashes wit my church YF,training 6 days a week ma) tat 4 d whole of my secondary school life i never attended YF.Naturally,I was estatic noe-ing there's a teakwondo club in campus n i bcame really fond of my taekwondo lessons here in AIMST (plus d fact tat d seniors was like 'Wah!!Y u so fast 1?' n the coaches keeps pushing me 2 be better,it reminds me of d good old days).Unfortunately,d lessons clashes wit CF n church(yup,it's on wed n fri),but i've found an alternative option,i've decided to go church on saturday instead(FGA),and as 4 CF,2 bad la...I though problem solved,i can go for my teakwondo lesson without missing out on church at the same time.But,i felt guilty everytime i attended church,i tried to rationa-lies tat at least i'm making an effort not 2 miss church,i'm still faithful,aren't i?Man,was i wrong!!One morn as i was doing my devotion,i came across 1 Samuel:22.It hit me like a brick on d face.Again n again as a read it several times.

22"Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord?To obey is better than sacrifice,and to heed is better than the fat of rams."

I'm sorry Father...I really am..(n i did eventually stop my lesson however painful it might be,praise God!!)

In d area of serving,it's still ambigous on which area i'm gonna serve.Through rbs,i've finally manage 2 conquer my fear which had regretfully prevented me frm serving God 4 d past 5 years.I was hoping to serve in my church 4 a longer period 2 gain confidence in serving Him but instead He has other plans 4 me.His plans eventually landed me in Kedah,wit a whole new environment,new circle of friends,new church n etc.I've notice tat my fear is slowly trickling bak bit by bit when i move to a whole new unfamiliar environment,i've lost all d Gods' confidence i gain n learned frm rbs.Whenever ppl ask if i'm willing to serve,d 1st responds my not-so-smart brain gave is a loud scream of 'NOoooo...!! I can't! I'm jz not good enough,look at d person nxt 2 me!! He/She is so much better in doing it!! '.It takes all d strength i hv in me 2 stop my mouth frm saying it out loud coz d truth is,i really wan2 serve God,i hv 2 make myself say 'yes',to go against wat i fear,which often drains me,i'm tired...The fact tat there's no 1 close enough 4 me 2 share wat i felt makes things a lot more harder than wat they should be..Help me,Father.